Fitbit and Fat Fast

I’m ditching the fitbit.  In fairness it stopped working last week and I’ve been going back and forth about replacing it. Im learning I’m an impulse shopper – I’ll spend a whole lot of money with no second thought, but if I take 15 minutes to think about it, I’m cheap AF.

FITBIT1Money aside though, I started to think about why I really wanted it. Yes its good for tracking my sleep that’s initially why I got one and I really do enjoy the challenges between friends  . . . .

Here’s the thing that really stuck out to me though. I have been obsessing over the number of steps. I know its supposed to motivate you an all that jazz but I was starting to take it to a not-so-good place. I was actually getting upset when I didn’t make the step goal for the day and it turned into negative thoughts about myself. That’s just not good.

It’s weird how that can creep up on you without noticing it.  So there it is, the fitbit is gone. I mean really, I know how much I’m supposed to move each day. I know sitting on my ass on the couch all Sunday morning is not a great decision (Though sometimes it’s the best thing I can do for myself) so if I know where I should be at, why am I obsessing about a number?

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The other thing I’m doing is a fat fast. I’m giving this a whirl.  Ive stalled out on my weight loss which is weird because I still have  a lot more I can lose (talking 70 lbs here people)

Now, if I’m being honest, I’ve spent the last few weeks eating croissants on the weekend and chips a few evenings, baking cakes and eating icing . . . . so ok looking at that now its pretty obvious why the scale hasn’t moved.

However, I wanted to get rid of those cravings for carbs and specially the chips. My God how I love chips, its an addiction for real.

Have to say, its not been nearly as tough as I thought it would be. Maybe I’m more focused, but I’m saying its down to butter. Butter is amazing and I love it.

I’ve been following a fat fast menu for 3 days now and the cravings are nil, my energy is fine, I’ve been drinking a lot more water . . . . the fast is over tomorrow and I’ll go back on my keto eating but I think it will be easier to do now that I’ve done this.

imagesZ0QOV495I don’t recommend it for everyone of course. Do your research, actual research not just the ‘fat fast weight loss results’ YouTube where they tell you they dropped 5-8 lbs in 3 days.   Actually look into it.

On a side note – how have I missed the guilty pleasure TV of Naked and Afraid XL?? I’ve binged watched this damn show and I don’t even feel bad about it. I could totes survive in the wild . . . not the jungle though, there’s no way I could handle the ants and mosquitos. I’d tap out on day one.

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Im 39 now . . . . WTF??

When did this happen? Honestly, i’m not sure when this happened. I still have a lot of days where I find myself shocked I’m allowed to be responsible for another human being . . . and pets . . . and a mortgage . . . .

It’s been almost a month since my birthday and I don’t know what it is about that number 39 but I’ve done more in the last month for my own health and mental health than I have in the last year. That’s good but sad to me at the same time.

I’ve committed to eating better and drinking more water (Coca Cola being referred to as ‘coke’ is no coincidence, that crap is addictive as F) and I’ve started working out 3-4 times a week, that’s not the part that is sad to me.  I’ve spent time reading books, not text books or anything like that, just books (Not going to lie, i’m only now getting around to Harry Potter series, don’t judge me!) I used to love reading and I havent spent the time on myself to just sit and read. Working out is done in the morning at 5 am, just because it’s quiet and its my time. I’ve gone camping with the family, even just as an over night but we’ve gone, we’ve shut off phones, we’ve not taken any computers, tablets etc.  I’ve loved it.  I’ve said No. That’s one I’m surprised took me so long to do. I’ve actually said no to people and plans, not because I was over booked but because I just wanted to relax.

How come it took me so damn long to get here? This is a really nice way to live . . . . You do You.  I’m looking forward to this year coming up . . . . but 40? F me . . . . at least i can look forward to travelling to Ireland for my 40th.

 

I’m so vain . . . .not really

The doubt and anticipation is being slowly chipped away.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but anytime I’ve started a weight loss journey (This isn’t all about weight loss, I needed to fix my insomnia first and foremost, and overall health . . . but that included weight loss) I’ve always had this anticipation of that first time some one noticed.

How long was it going to take?? I saw the scale move but no one seemed to notice. I read somewhere that people don’t really notice until you’ve lost 10% of your body weight. To date I’ve lost a bit more than 10%, 27 lbs in total.

The first time someone mentioned it, I more or less brushed it off because we are doing a biggest loser competition at work and they knew I was in it – so maybe this was just a supportive ‘keep it up’ kind of thing.

Then someone else mentioned it . . . . then another . . . . and today another.

I’m loving that people are noticing. I mean I’ve noticed it in the amount of sleep I get, in my clothes fitting differently (One MAJOR thing for me was my scout leader uniform no longer making me feel uncomfortable from being tight around my hips, that was hug for me) I’ve heard some people say you shouldn’t put so much emphasis on how you look and if other people notice and maybe that’s true but damn it I like that people have noticed. I like having a compliment and actually being able to accept it at face value, no more undermining or diminishing it.

Im trying to remember that everything is going in the right direction as I sit at my desk at home, sick, missing the most beautiful day of the year  . . . . and trying to not eat all the left overs in the fridge . . . . with extra queso dip . . . . . and crackers.

Netflix – Magic Pill

Magic Pill

I don’t even know where to start. I watched it this morning just randomly, hadn’t heard anything about it before, wasn’t expecting it to come into my netflix feed or anything like that. It was just there.  The last few days I’ve been really paying attention to how my body is reacting to things and having those non scale victories giving me that little bit of confirmation that this is the right lifestyle for me . . . . then this played
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Mind. Blown.

Honestly, everything I have worked through in my own mind about why a Keto life makes sense to me was addressed in this documentary. Everything.  Right down to the cycle of life and how we are meant to be part of it not manipulate it. Nature knows better than we do, lets be real about that.  We are never going to find health and balance by changing the natural order of life. That’s a rant for another day.

But there was tangible, physical evidence of the benefit of this way of eating. Diabetics, autistic children,  Alzheimer, cancer  . . . . don ‘t get it twisted i’m not saying this is a be all end all cure for everything, not at all. What this did show was the why, the how. Why does this work? Because it’s how mankind thrived for hundreds and hundreds of generations.

One point that really stuck out to me that I will be using when people decide to give me advice on not eating those fabulous grains  . . . .  Cows are fed a grain diet to do what? Fatten them up quickly and send them to slaughter.  Pigs, chickens, ducks . . . . all the same. They are fed a diet to make them fat, and we expect that we are somehow immune to that?

And vegetarian/vegans that argue about not consuming animals for any reason (I’m not calling vegetarians or vegans bad – you do you and let me do me) I wonder how many of them feed their plants or eat plants that have been fertilised with blood or bone meal . . . or how many of them actually try to find out about that.  Life Cycle.

Think about it.

Watch it. Its great.

Damn Nachos

I was on the right path, I was feeling good about my choices, I was seeing noticeable differences in what I craved, when I craved, when I was hungry . . . . and then game 5 hit and I thought Meh, I’ll have a night off, it wont be so bad, everything else is on point except the damn nacho chips.

Those bastards really pack a punch when you haven’t eaten grains in a weeks.

25 pounds down this year . . . and 5 came back from one night of Nachos.

I’d do it again.

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And why? Because I know I can. I know from past experience saying “I can’t have this or that” is a sure fire way to binge on it and fail at whatever eating style you are trying to make habit. I’ve changed my mental game to “I can have that, but is it worth it?” 99% of the time the answer is no.

When its game 5 of the playoff series and your Jets are up 3 games to 1, you’re all around the TV watching the game in your “We Are Winnipeg #Winipegwhiteout” shirts . . . making nachos is worth it.

You know what the amazing thing is to me? I am actually ok with it. I don’t feel guilt, maxresdefaultI don’t feel ashamed, its humorous in a way that the corn chips can pack on 5 lbs (Im pretty sure I didn’t eat 5 lbs of nachos . . . but I could be wrong, it was good game, what can I say) whiteoutI had a great night with my hubs and kid, we got excited, we yelled at the ref’s, we cheered when we scored and we high fived when we won.  I challenge any city to love their team more than we do. We know how it feels to lose them and we know how it feels to earn them back.

That being said . . . I don’t know that nachos will be on the menu for the next round unless I’m making my own chips or using pork rinds . . . . and damn it I had pork rinds in the house.

I regret nothing.

Life happens. I wont be perfect. But I can be consistent. This is what I learned.

This is a big non scale victory for me. Keto is changing more than my waist line it seems.

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The mental game . . . not such a game

I finally took some time off from work and I had so many plans for what i was going to do with those 2 weeks. I was going to do so much meal prep, catch up on some reading, do some studying, make a work out schedule for myself, get back into the gym, clear the house of clutter etc etc etc.

None of that happened. Absolutely none of it. I was in complete denial about how stressed I had let myself get. A year with out a proper vacation and I had myself in so many knots I could barely think straight.

10 days I spent doing little more than sleep and watch bad TV.  That’s all I could muster myself to do. I didn’t have the energy or the desire to do anything, literally anything.

It took that long until I actually felt better, until I woke up in the morning and didn’t have to give myself a pep talk to get out of bed. It’s insane.

So, for the rest of the time off, the whole 5 days, I didn’t do anything else on my list. And I didn’t because I needed to give time to ME, to do what I wanted, what I felt like, what I needed.

I did not realise how utterly important it is to take care of yourself. No wonder my physical health was terrible, my mental health was non existent practically.  There is no way to be healthy without getting your mind right first. Its not a game of course, its how you’ll end up living your life, what kind of life that will be.

These 2 weeks may have been more than what i needed, more than what I knew i needed anyway. Starting from the head and moving down.  It’s made a difference in my eating and I’ve even been getting back into working out in the mornings. I’ve accepted that I can’t just pick up where I left off, and that’s ok. I’m not continuing on like I took a 2 week hiatus. I have to learn what my body can do now before I know how far I can safely push it.

It’s forgiveness that has been the big thing I’ve learned. Forgiving myself. Im not a failure because I gained the weight back, I’m not a bad mom if I take the time to myself to work out. Im not ruining my eating plan if I eat a handful of potato chips or have a piece of birthday cake . . . . I’m only going to be a failure if I quit and let that little voice telling me I can’t do it determine if I try or not.

2 weeks . . . . what an enlightening 2 weeks it’s been by doing nothing at all that I had planned to do.

Keto . . . is it for me?

I’ve spent the last 2 months really reading up on Ketogenic eating.  Everything I have read describes it basically the same way. No grains, no sugar, High (healthy) fats, moderate protein and low carb. And I mean LOW carb, for me its 22 grams a day. Keep in mind this is net carbs.

I think at the beginning I was all over this eating style because  . . . . well, bacon, lets be real. I was never really a big fan of pasta or bread.  Don’t get me wrong, every now and again when I’ve made a fresh loaf at home, i’ll have a slice or two and enjoy it but on a daily – I can take it or leave it.  Fruit was the hard one, i like a wide variety of fruit and this way of eating would limit that.

Cheese, meat, veggies . . . . those are my staples and those are things I am encouraged to eat. I thought it was too good to be true.  But . . I thought ok, this sounds like something I can do. I mean REALLY do.  So I cleaned out my pantry, got some almond flour, ghee, eggs, avacados and all the good staples I’d need.

2 months in and Im still finding my footing. I have, for the most part, figured out the macros, whats good and whats not.  It’s a lot more in depth than I realised, and i’m starting to get to the point where i’m looking at more veg and less dairy – and that is shocking to me. I love me some cheese! Cheese on all the things is amazing. I think my true addiction might be cheese.

What I have noticed though, is its a lot harder to balance the low carb than I initially thought it would be. As much as i loved eating steak, cheese and bacon – my body has now told me that that is not the best thing for me . . . so now I am struggling again to get in all my veggies and keep my carbs low. Its not impossible, but it takes effort.

But I’m ok with it. This is honestly the first ‘diet’ i have been on that I am not tapping out of. I find the challenge to be intriguing rather than demotivating. I don’t want to give up because it takes time to plan and make better decisions, instead I want to actually find a way to fit everything in. To make the meals that will be good for me and to make my body healthier.

Its a great feeling. Its motivating and exciting, but its also scary in a way.  I actually believe in my heart AND mind that this is finally the right thing for me.

I started this to lose weight, lets be real here. But over the last few weeks i’ve come to realise it’s not about losing weight at all, its about feeling good. Feeling strong. Feeling healthy and not feeling deprived and so far – Keto has been all those things.

Im actually excited and hopeful without having to convince myself I am.