I ended 2018 with a plan.
I was going to wake up on January 1, get on the treadmill, lift some weights, meal prep some Keto recipes for the week ahead and go hard in 2019.
Yeah that didn’t happen.
Not that I was hungover or anything like that, I actually thought about what the new year brings quite a bit when i was relaxing in my comfy bed at 9:45 (Yeah that’s right, 9:45 and I tapped out, it was -40 , we sure as hell weren’t going out)
What got me thinking was 2019 is supposed to be a year about me, looking after me and taking care of me. I’m a mom that suffers from the ‘Mom Guilt” I know I have to take care of me to be a good parent, blah blah blah, but i still feel the guilt. I cancelled my gym membership because they stopped having a kids program and I thought being away 3 to 4 times a week for a couple of hours wasn’t fair to Jack. This is the kind of thing i’m talking about, its more common than people think.
But, this year I am actively looking after myself. Im turning 40 for fuck sake.
I am planning a trip to Ireland because it’s where I’ve always wanted to go, something always got in the way before but this year, i’m going. I told Jason he can come with me, Jack can come with me, or they can both stay home – but I was going. So we are planning that one in a lifetime adventure and i’m stoked.
That of course turned into the overly pumped stereotypical new years attitude “woo hoo, i’m going to eat healthy, exercise hard core, going to be in the best shape of my life . . . . “ and really i was ready to go in full steam but then my thought pattern started changing.
Why am I stuck on this idea that taking care of me is all about what i eat and what i weigh? It shouldn’t be. Taking care of me should be about my physical AND spiritual AND mental well being.
So I changed what i’m doing this year, sort of. Im making this year about me, it needs to be. I need to focus on my all over health, that being said, i’m not limiting it to just working out and what i eat. No no. I’m going to give myself 30 minutes each day that’s just mine. Maybe i’ll read, maybe i’ll meditate (I know this is good for me, i’m going to give it another shot) maybe i’ll sit with my massage pillow and knit. Whatever it is, the door will be closed at it will be my time for me. I haven’t decided if work out time will be considered me time or not. I’m thinking not.
That was a lot to think about while watching Netflix (to be fair, netflix has sucked lately so no surprise my thoughts drifted) and this morning when i woke up i felt the same. I started the year with some me time . . . . 30 minutes of writing this blog. I’ve always wanted to have a blog, i have some random thoughts on a daily but i’ve never given myself the time to actually have one. Today I did. Today I started my year with doing something that makes me happy. I got a cup of coffee in my fancy new christmas mug and sat by myself and wrote.
I would like to think i’ll take 15 minutes every day and write about what I’ve been up to, everyday might be overkill to post, but that’s what draft status is for. Actually, that would have made keeping a blog a crap load easier, why didn’t i just write a little bit daily and then post once or twice a week? Genius. This is proof me time is beneficial, how else would i share my rambling thoughts??
Already I’m liking this year.
God damn 40th birthday though, ugh.